i never left

I didn’t leave – everyone else did! That is how I feel about a lot of things.

But, it’s not true. I did leave a lot of things. I left myself in weird ways I don’t understand, for reasons I don’t understand. And because of that, I did leave a lot of things. I see that, now. I did not see that for years.

Or maybe I didn’t leave, exactly. Maybe I sunk down under the water line. Xibalba.

But I’m up from under. I think.