manifestation

  • greedy little hobbitses

    ·

    While I love writing, the business of writing feels gross to me. But I get seduced by it, I do.

    It starts purely. “I want people to enjoy this thing I made, but how do I get it to them?”

    But, it’s a short trip from that genuine excitement to a…lust for attention.

    The “C” word – Content; mercenary, soulless Content. Blech.

    I just want to write good things. The rest – utter piffle!

  • running down a dream

    ·

    I signed up for a 5k in February. Three point one miles sounds like something that one should be able to do without having to do any preparation. It sounds like just, a, you know, a basic fitness thing.

    Unfortunately, I’m so sedentary and overweight and out of practice that I’m tre slow. I doubt I could just bang out a mile right now, let alone three of them in public.

    That’s why I signed up for this race. My poor overall health is interfering with my quality of life. I don’t have the energy to play with my family like I want to, I’m embarrassed by my body, reflux is constant.

    I don’t even know what happened. I was physically active for DECADES and then all of a sudden it just…stopped. “For reasons unknown,” to quote The Killers.

    I’m sure depression didn’t help. Having a family made it harder. Maybe getting older. Maybe hiding, somehow. (One hundred percent of posts on here thus far have featured me hiding my true self!!)

    Whatever the reason, I’m going to go ahead and download the daggum C25K app and train and invite my family to come watch me. Maybe we’ll start doing races together and it will become a cool tradition. Maybe I won’t have to hide so much, anymore.

    I’m scared and excited.

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