On Crassness

This morning I walked around the parking lot of my office condo park.

A few weeks ago, I attended a sporting event in which, “F*ck you, _____!” chants broke out.

One of our office neighbors had a decal on the window of his truck – a stick figure thrusting into the word “IT,” the obvious meaning being “F*ck it.” This is in a business park.

A few days ago I was driving with my kids and someone had a “F*ck Biden” sticker on their vehicle.

It’s disappointing and…angering…to me, that our culture is so crass. What angers me, I think, isn’t the vocabulary, but the lack of consideration for others that it shows.

“Crass” is probably a different standard to everyone, and a dynamic one. I think that is appropriate – there are certain conversations or vocabulary words that would be more appropriate in a bar on a Friday night than in a grocery store on a Saturday morning, for example.

For me, the standard (the measure) that should be used is whether our behavior/vocabulary/conversation makes others feel comfortable or uncomfortable. Anything below that standard is crass and inappropriate.

What I don’t know is whether it is worth every bothering to say anything to people about crassness. That is probably a case-by-case thing, the main reason being if the crass actor is making people weaker or more vulnerable uncomfortable.

Otherwise, the better option, in my opinion, is to strive to keep my own behavior above the standard at all times. That alone is a statement and an engagement in the culture, I believe. An old-fashioned term for that kind of stance could be gentleman, or manners, or etiquette, or decency.

Our own actions are more…aspirational…for the society in which we want to live, than a judgment against others. A breath of fresh air, a whiff of fresh-baked bread in the public spaces, a warming security blanket to those around us.

That sounds nice. Now, if only I could be that guy all the time…